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Keep a Fire Burning in Your Eye


Oh to have the heart and mind of a child. I know I say it all the time – it’s the siren song of this blog – but the thought hits me more than a few times every day that I share with my two precious girls.

Pumpkin is 3 going on 30 and, although she thinks she knows everything, she still WANTS to know everything and an hour with her is guaranteed to present an almost endless stream of questions.  This was our conversation the other night while watching the Olympics (during the part of the games that she wasn’t passing out tickets to and engaging in her own performance in front of the television):

Pumpkin:             Why is that man dancing with that flag?
Me:                        He’s happy that he is at the Olympics representing his country.

Pumpkin:             What’s a country?
Me:                        It’s the place you live?

Pumpkin:             Like Louisiana?
Me:                        No, Louisiana is your state. Our country is the United States of America.

Pumpkin:             When I get big can I go to the Olympics?
Me:                        Sure, we would be so proud if you did that. 

Pumpkin:             When am I going to be a grown up?
Me:                        Can we start putting a limit on the number of questions you can ask in a day?

Pumpkin:             I can snap. (demonstrating and grinning from ear to ear)
I want to be that carefree. I wish that I could ignore people’s tones.  I wish that I could just let people’s underlying sentiment roll of my back like water on a duck or, better yet, like Pumpkin, that I not even pick up on or care about underlying sentiments (which probably are a figment of my imagination and insecurity more often than not).  I wish that I was not afraid to ask the questions and say the things on my mind and even to brag about my snapping, a little.

I want her curiosity and her determination.
Then I’d like to add to that some of Bug’s care-free confidence.

At the playground yesterday, every much the tiniest child, Bug was keeping up as best she could with every other kid – chasing, climbing, falling, and getting back up with her signature tongue-out laugh. The photo I have included shows her head back belly laughing while SITTING COMPLETELY STILL. The exhilaration she was feeling would make you think she were spinning at warp speeds but, no, she was just happy to have made the climb onto the bench.  She’s brave and she finds joy in everything (well, almost everything). Her joy is literally infectious – you cannot be around her without smiling. Even when a big kid gave her an open palmed push to the face, she just dusted herself off and kept running (until he approached again and she let out a blood curdling scream – at least I know she’ll stand up for herself too).
Our girls are amazing, but that is not to say that we don’t have our difficulties. As you can imagine with a strong minded one and a strong willed (and scared of nothing) one, we are constantly on our literal and figurative toes. Last night when Bug finally went down for the count, we felt like refugees who had just broken from a prison camp – we didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, celebrate, or hide under the covers. Then, there’s Pumpkin, whose mind won’t even turn off at night leading her to silently (and eerily) appear by my bed several (4 last night) times each night, saying nothing, wanting nothing, and requiring me to get up and walk her back to her room.

I know I can’t stop them from growing up and changing, but I understand the sentiment Martina McBride felt when she hoped her daughter danced. I hope they keep the lights in their eyes and hearts always. They are beautiful, not just because they are, well…beautiful, but because they inquire, they love, they explore, and they care about everyone and everything.  They get excited over the smallest nothings that most of us would ignore.  Every day is a new adventure for them and they make mine worth living.
And stay tuned, Pumpkin plans to medal in Olympic snapping in 2028.

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