Enough

There's an anonymous prayer that makes its way around the internet and gets posted on office refrigerators called either A Prayer for Today or Morning Prayer. It's a tongue-in-cheek prayer about how perfect the speaker has been and ends with the revelation that he or she has not even gotten out of bed yet. Like most humor, it's funny because it is true. Like most truth, it stings a little.


I'm the best mother I can be in the morning. I feel full of hope (at least once I'm full of coffee). I have plans for joy, learning, sharing, and loving. I drop my kids off and cannot wait to see them again.


Then life happens.


Then 5 o'clock rolls around.


Most days I'm no longer the mother I want to be. I've got hungry, wound up tiny people literally hanging on me, both talking at the same time, asking for snacks, telling me of their days, all while I'm trying to go through mail and cook dinner. That's when I turn into a mother I'm embarrassed to be. Pumpkin and I jokingly refer to that mom has T-Rex mom or grump-a-saurus mom. I feel like a drill sergeant trying to get baths, homework, and dinner done each night. I usually end up in tears after I catch myself yelling about too much fun in the bath or silliness that has just gotten a bit too loud for my frazzled nerves. These are the moments I'm supposed to cherish, right?


I am reading a book called Mom Enough. The premise of the collection of mommy blog articles is that none of us are Mom Enough without Christ. Boy, ain't that the truth. I need daily - no scratch that, constant reminding. I'm not enough. But He is and His Grace is. It covers me. It allows me to apologize for being T-Rex mom and for my sweet girls to forgive me, night after night. It allows me to wake up with that same renewing hope every morning.  I just hope one morning it sticks.


Speaking of rough mornings, most of you know Bug started daycare. I won't sugar coat it. She hates " 'cool." She hates her backpack, she hates waking up in the morning (and, now, going to sleep at night), she hates getting dressed, brushing her teeth, getting in the car. In fact, at night now she asks with trepidation in her voice - "it morning?" She hates morning (my prime time!). All I hear from the minute she realizes we are dressing her is "no 'cool, no 'cool." Supposedly she quits screaming once I leave. Supposedly she is "full of fun" all day until pick up begins.  All I know is we drop her off in tears and pick her up in tears.


Pumpkin on the other hand loves everything about school. She asks for extra homework. She was counting down the days of Christmas break so she could go back to school and stay for aftercare for the first time.


I don't have to try very hard to envision the teenage years with these two. Sadly it's coming fast. This year I am going to try very hard to be that good mom all day. Or at least most of the day. Most days. I will fail. I know I will. I already have. But God won't fail me or my family. He will always be enough and that is all we need.