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Lord Prepare Me, to be a Sanctuary

I love Lent. I know Lent is not supposed to be a season of joy but the solemnity of penitence and ashes on Ash Wednesday, the anxiety of the knowledge of his death, the wonder of what those in the moment must have felt, and the anticipation of the joy of his resurrection brings my heart such fullness. I always look forward to the opportunity to slow down and just be. I am entering this Lent with a new hope that I have not felt before and I am excited and anxious to see how He will work through me.

Now, having espoused all of that great philosophy, let me get real for a minute. Flash back to that Ash Wednesday service barely 12-hours ago. I'm on my knees trying to get in my holy groove, confessing sins, yadda yadda yadda when no sooner had I invoked the "Most merciful Father" when I hear a slight chuckle behind me. I turn to my side and see Bug trying to take off her shirt in the middle of church. Luckily her belly was a road block and I was able to get her mostly covered. Realizing she had to stay dressed, Bug was undeterred and immediately began building a giant throne of hymnals and tried to hoist her little self onto the top of them - repeatedly. Of course, they slipped, she'd fall, she'd cry, and we would start all over again.

As my left arm is trying to save Bug's life, keep her dressed, and hold on to my prayer book, to my right I have Pumpkin trying to follow along with the prayer book, bulletin, hymnal and insert. She is constantly whispering for the correct book and page number and needs me to point to "where we are" every few seconds. She's melting my heart with her recitation of the Kyrie and the confession and she belts out the Lord's prayer. She even made a "card" for Jesus promising that "for Ash Wednesday" she will be "more nice to Maggie." I'm hoping she meant Lent, not just Ash Wednesday. A direct handwritten promise to Jesus is even better incentive for good behavior than the Elf on the Shelf.

Yet, despite not hearing every word of the homily (I heard most of it, I promise), despite not having a single moment of complete silence, despite all of our ashes being wiped off by chubby fingers before the Recessional - despite all of this, I got a glimpse of true holiness. Our every day lives, the mundane, the frustrating, it is His Sanctuary. It is where He works. Our Church family - and ours truly is a family - is a place of unconditional love and support. I can bring my greatest frustration, my most wearied secrets, and place them at His altar, surrounded by those folks, and know that I will leave with my burden lightened. And I did.

So, I wish you a Happy Lent. I know that isn't the right phrase, but I mean it - because in losing ourselves and finding Him we have the chance for true happiness that the world cannot bring us.

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