Something about Advent – decking the halls in preparation
for Santa, slowing our spirits down in preparation for the Christ-child – brings
me back to this Blog again. It’s been a very long time since I’ve written.
There is no way in this post or a dozen more that I could capture everything I’ve
missed, but yesterday while decorating the tree I realized what a hole I’ve
left in our memories by letting this blog go.
See, last year I was busy. Obviously, like anyone else with
kids, jobs, lives, I could probably say that anytime. But last year I let
busy-ness win. I hired out our Christmas decorating. I didn’t lift a finger and
the kids didn’t hang a single ornament. First, let me say that my tree was
department store gorgeous. There wasn’t a single personal memory on the tree.
In fact, what I discovered yesterday while decorating the tree was that among
those gorgeous ornaments were several small gold picture frame ornaments that
had hung all last Christmas in my perfect tree. When I looked closer I realized
the photos in those frames were the stock photos of someone else’s life. It
literally brought tears to my eyes to recall a time in our lives when I didn’t
slow down long enough to put pictures in frames. My tree was as beautiful as
one at Macy’s and just as soul-less.
This year we decorated the most beautiful Griswald tree,
full of memories and color. There are too many ornaments hung in a cluster at
about 3-feet high because that is where the girls could reach. There are bright
rainbows of colorful LED lights. There was hot chocolate and singing and
laughter. There was frustration getting the tree in the door, more frustration
getting the lights on the tree, and the angel is hung precariously on the top
of a slightly tilted evergreen. But, in the end, it is the most amazing tree I’ve
ever seen. The gold frames and all of the other gorgeous ornaments are back in
the attic.
Luckily Bug told me she didn’t remember Christmas last year.
Pumpkin on the other hand remembered every detail of where every decoration
went (which was quite helpful for the other knick knacks and things I didn’t
put up last year). But I hope they remember this year. I will strive this
Advent to take time to make sure that each moment is memorable. That they
always equate the holidays with slowing down and loving those close to you,
even during the time of shopping and holiday parties.
Amidst all of this insight, a family friend sent me some
photos of the girls she found on her phone from when they were so tiny they
didn’t recognize themselves. It’s hard to believe it’s only been a couple of
years and they’ve grown so much. That tiny little baby Bug is the same child
who asked me questions yesterday about Heaven that were so profound I couldn’t
find an answer for them. That big sister is the same one trying to read Harry
Potter and writing stories of her own. I only thought they kept me on my toes
back then. Now, it’s difficult to stay one step ahead of them mentally.
It’s hard to always set aside the hustle and bustle, not
just during the holidays but year-round. My Advent practice and my New Year’s
Resolution will be to strive each day to make memories, no matter how small,
that let my family know that they are loved and that their home is a place of
warmth, joy, and safety. If you are reading this, you are dear to me also and I
pray for you the same peace.
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