He Appeared and the Soul Felt Its Worth

"Repentance breaks our hearts a little."

I'm not sure whether it is an exact quote or just a very close paraphrase from the sermon I heard Sunday. That sermon - that church - that moment was one of those times I knew I was right where I was supposed to be and that hearing someone saying something God needed me to hear.

Repentance is not for those who fancy themselves a mighty fortress. Repentance is also not for the weak - which is what I have been despite my best efforts otherwise. Repentance is for the brave and faithful. Because repentance will break us - it has to break us - because only when we break does Christ have a way to enter.

And that is what Advent is about - Christ entering our lives. He has already entered once, thousands of years ago, on Christmas morning. He IS risen - meaning He wants to enter our lives each and every day and just awaits the opening we prepare. And He is going to come again to call all of his creation back to Him. This is the thrill of hope we sing about and the grace that is reflected in that new and glorious morn.

So while the girls' smiles shine in the bright lights of the Christmas tree and they happily chatter while searching for the Elf each morning, I will sit back and let my heart break - pray for it to rip open, in fact - so as to let the love of Christ envelop me and exude from me.

As the girls mark off the days until December 25th by tearing open windows on a calendar, I will inwardly mark off each day that I proclaim Christ in anticipation not of His birth, but of His coming again in glory to judge the quick and the dead.

And when the cookies are plated and the milk poured on Christmas Eve, I will check that the oil in my lamp is filled and I am ready for the true glorious morning when heaven will stand silent as Cain and Abel embrace and all of our catastrophic sins are forgiven.

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