Skip to main content

They'll Learn Much More Than I'll Ever Know

Today is quarantine day something. We are past the one-month mark. I need not mention life is strange; though, we are fortunate for good health and good weather. We are fortunate for the ability to work from home and school from home. We made a fun-ish Spring Break with backyard camping and indoor baking and bird-watching at the beach. We have all learned that we really yearn for fresh air and to touch nature every day and to sweat and work to physical exhaustion when possible.

It is almost beginning to sound trite to discuss the “good” to be found in all of this. First, I fear it sounds like I am discounting the gravity of the pandemic. Second, I think many are mentioning it for the “likes” and will quickly return to the breakneck life waiting just beyond our masks. I may be one of those people.

I do not have anything new to add to the discussion. For the most part, I don’t even want to have discussions anymore. But I did want to write, for myself now and to look back on later.

Risking sounding dull and vapid or like an “Everything I need to know I learned in Quarantine” poster, I would be remiss not to mention what I have learned things and enjoyed life in a way that is different and new. I have met neighbors I would have otherwise waved at from behind the wheel of my car as I rushed to our next thing. I have watched child after child learn to ride a bike. I’ve seen my girls’ faces dirtier than they have ever been from adventuring in the woods. I’ve looked at stars and sunrises and sunsets. And I’ve done a lot of sitting. Just sitting. Not something I do very often in “real life.”

I have figured out things about myself like I need to be outside more and in my head less. 

I have also started (re-started) writing. Not just here. Poetry. And reading it. I forgot how cathartic it is for me. I forgot how it was praying for me - fervent praying. And a part of me maybe even forgot how much I need that, not just now but always.

I’ve also cried. A lot. Almost every day. Most of the time I’m not even sure what I’m crying about - it just all gets to be too much. Sometimes too much sadness and death. Sometimes too much simple joy and kindness. Just too much feeling and and too many conflicted feelings. But like the writing and the praying, I need the crying too and that’s okay.

My biggest concern through all of this is to make sure the girls are good. Not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. I want them to know that it is okay to not feel okay all the time. I want them to talk about their feelings and feel them. But I also want them to play - hard - and laugh - a lot.

Who knows why we remember clearly certain things from our childhood and have no memories of others. I certainly don’t know why the brain holds on to what it does. But if the girls have any memory of this time, I hope it is one of joy and security, even if it is intertwined with some confusion and the occasional tears. They are too young to remember it any other way. 

So we will keep on baking and hiking and reading and biking, laughing a lot and crying a little. We will also keep on praying, in all the ways we know how.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I Want You To Have It All

As those of you who follow me on IG know, I've thrown the idea(l) of a work-life balance out the proverbial window. Those scales will never balance and there will be days and weeks they tip one way before dropping back the other. There are times I am baking and carpooling like some modern day Donna Reed with a Best Mom coffee mug and other times where I feel like the Queen of the Courtroom, only to find out my kid didn't have lunch at school or forgot her ballet shoes. As an example, it is a known fact around my office that when I am in a big trial someone in my house is going to have a major illness  - literally these have ranged from pneumonia to emergency appendectomy. Talk about mom guilt - not only am I not there to love on them, I can't even really give them any mental energy until I am out of the courtroom. All of that is to say that life, an parenting, and lawyering are all like that - you win some, you lose some. Chasing some pipe dream of balance and harmony only ...

I'll Come Runnin'

Sometimes being a working mom is the pits. I’m not talking about the early morning meetings on less than a few hours of sleep or the late night ones which prevent me from bedtime prayers and tucking in. I’m not talking about working with a baby on one hip and a phone on one shoulder, or with spit up on my documents or, better yet, my blouse. I’m not even talking about the pangs of guilt I feel every time she comes down with something “she caught at daycare.” It’s something much deeper than that. Something that I know I have to fight to overcome. It’s the overwhelming sadness of not being there to witness every discovery, kiss every boo-boo, and rock her every time the world is not perfect. It’s the feeling of having to say goodbye, even if just for a short time. I guess that feeling isn’t unique to working moms. I think it’s something every mom feels at one time or another. Working moms just get it earlier…and maybe more frequently. Even those moms who are home right now...

Hello! The Phone is Ringing So I Say Hello!

I’m not sure what I expected, really. I guess I thought that when Pumpkin officially crossed the one year threshold into toddler-hood that things miraculously got easier. I had a little parenting-confidence and puffed my chest out just a little as I slowly toddled with her, grasping onto my index finger, to the doctor’s office for her one year appointment (see video for an idea of how slow slow is). I sat proudly in the “well baby” room (a place we haven’t spent much time) remembering the days I sat in that same room crying, looking frantically around for a spare diaper and praying they wouldn’t call her name before I could unhook her from her carseat (which took a long time back then) and changed her diaper. One year later here I was. We had come so far. I was proud of us and I looked at those new mothers with a little knowing pity. In all my one year of wisdom, I sat there glowing with the realization that the hard times were behind us. I didn’t have a “baby” anymore, I had a toddle...