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Something to Talk About


Sometimes, like this morning, I realize my conversations with Pumpkin have gotten out of control.  She is such a great conversationalist that sometimes I find I get myself in over my head with an explanation that is just a little more than a three-year old can handle.  For example, this morning I started discussing the 4th of July with Pumpkin.  Simple enough – it was on the agenda for summer camp this week so I figured if they can talk about it so can I.
It started out simple enough – America’s birthday; red, white, and blue; fireworks; parade; grilling out; cake.  Well, cake turned into a question of who was going to blow out the candles, which led to my attempted explanation of America as a country and not a person.  Despite the obscurity, Pumpkin resolved that one fairly easily – “I will blow out the candles for ‘merica.”  Okay, good enough.

Then the talk turns back to cake and I start explaining how we will make a red, white, and blue cake but we won’t use blueberries or strawberries (which she advised me on Friday she does not like when I packed her blueberries in her lunch – when I picked her up she immediately asked “were those blueberries ‘posed to be for me – I don’t like blueberries OR strawberries.”).  Duly noted.  So, logically, she wants to know what we will use instead of blueberries and strawberries and why we have to use red and blue.  This leads me to start explaining the American flag.  I even stop dead in the middle of the road when we pass one to show her.  I still feel like this conversation is going relatively well and that some bit of learning may be taking place.
At some point during this conversation we exit the Interstate and she sees the I-10 sign at the bottom of the ramp.  It’s red, white, and blue.  This is where things go south (pun sort-of intended).  Excitedly, she exclaims “Mama, I see red, white and blue.”  Instead of just letting it go, as I should have, with a “good girl” or an “okay baby,” I seize this non-opportunity to try to teach her something way beyond both of us.  Smarty-pants mama says “That’s right, do you know why it is red, white, and blue? That is because it is a sign indicating the interstate system that lets you drive across America.”  I see the light in her bright eyes dim.  She immediately points to the Highway 90 sign right next to it with a quizzical look on her face (we are sitting at the longest red light known to man), “mama, why is that one black and white?”  What had I started?  Was I going to try to explain the difference between the intrastate and interstate highway systems?  Was I even capable of explaining it?  This conversation quickly devolved beyond my control.  Luckily the light turned green and we passed a church with another American flag.

She’s smarter than me.  One day I will admit it.  For now, I will just continue trying to find places to hide from her when I get in over my head.  Literally.  I did that.  Not my proudest mama moment but I heard her coming to “tell me sumfin’” and some mentally-exhausted, sleep-deprived part of myself pressed my body against the wall of the water closet in the master bath and held my breath.  I heard her come in and then run out shouting in surprise “daddy, mama’s not in the shower!!!”  All I could do was laugh.  Hard.  And then go find her and give her a big hug and tell her the truth – mama was hiding!  The confused look on her face only made me laugh harder.  I had hit a new mama low.
Hiding isn’t as easy as I had anticipated in the new house. Despite adding significant square footage and an entire story, I’m still way too easily found.  This past Saturday morning all mama wanted was to sit down and drink one cup of coffee.  Typically I’m sipping while I do any number of other morning things like dressing, cleaning, picking up, playing, etc., but on this particular morning after a rough-ish night with the teething Bug, I just wanted to sit down and drink a single cup of coffee.  Everyone seemed situated so I poured a cup of joe and headed for an arm chair.  Well before my rear hit the cushion someone needed juice, then someone was stuck halfway between a crawl and a sit, then someone needed breakfast, then…you get the picture.  And of course, only mama will do in these situations.  For some reason when I pour the juice, cereal, pick up the toy, or whatever the chore may be, it’s somehow much different than when daddy does the same darn thing.

And it’s not just sitting there in plain view that is a problem.  I have had the darndest time finding anywhere in that house to have a single moment alone.  Now don’t get me wrong, I love our family, our life, and our new house but sometimes mama just needs a breath and to sit down for literally one second.  Now, in this beautiful new home of ours we have a bar room overlooking our oasis pool with the waterfalls in our palm-tree lined back yard.  It even SOUNDS relaxing.  Unfortunately, that lovely room with the gorgeous views and the plush seating just so happens to be Pumpkin’s favorite room to dance in (see attached video and do note that I am just waiting for a call from child protective services once she tells someone at school that she “dances in the bar with mama” which I have heard her ask to do verbatim).  So, bottom line is, while there’s fun to be had there, there is no relaxing in the bar.
The new house also has a wonderful, spacious master bath with the rain shower and the Jacuzzi tub.  I would be lying to say I didn’t envision bubbles, wine, candles, and a good book when I first saw that tub.  The first evening I tried to make that dream a reality the questions started almost simultaneously with the running of the water – “mama, why are you taking a bath;” “mama, why are you lighting candles, can I blow them out, is it your birthday, are we having cake;” then, once I actually got in, her little face was perched right on the edge of the bathtub and she asked incredulously “mama why are you READING IN THE BATHTUB” before she broke into hysterical laughter.  I drained the tub and hopped in the shower.  At least there was a door there and the water beating down on my head would drown out the sounds of the world for a few minutes.  But just a few.  Before I knew it, Pumpkin was knocking on the door needing to tell me “sumfin’” again.  I poked my sudsy head out to be informed matter of factly that Pumpkin “needed” to go to the beach and build a sand castle.  Yeah, me too kiddo!

I won’t even begin to explain why the game room, the kitchen, and the living room are not relaxing.  But I may surprise you when I say that this weekend I finally found my quiet place in the new house.  It’s the laundry room.  I did a little experiment and while I cannot totally explain the phenomenon, it appears that my family seems to stay far away when I’m in the laundry room.  Whether it be the threat of work or the lack of toys, I’m not sure, but I can stand there for several uninterrupted minutes and mindlessly fold towels, hang shirts, and breathe in the calming scent of detergent.  I emerged a revived mama with fresh towels to boot.

So next time you can’t find me or that I get myself in a pickle trying to explain the Pythagorean theorem because my three-year old drew a triangle, check the laundry room.

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