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Everything will Change, but Love Remains the Same



As all of you are probably well aware, I do not like change. Now, I know most people don’t necessarily like change, but I REALLY don’t like change. You can ask Hubby, I get frenetic when things don’t go as I had planned. When my best laid plans go astray (as we all know they do), I go right with them. Of course, all of my resistance to change has, itself, changed since Pumpkin was born, but I digress. The real point I want to make is that just like her mama (or, baba, if you will), Pumpkin hates change. And, as you have probably guessed, this wouldn’t be much of a blog if her little world wasn’t changing in some major (and highly resisted) ways this week.

The biggest change this week was her promotion to the toddler class. My resistance to the change started last week when I got the “promotion” letter. I welled up with tears and could hardly tear myself away from her baby class on Friday when I picked her up for the last time. Hubby is already highly concerned for how I will handle the real big changes in the future like kindergarten, high school, and (deep breath) college. But we will have to cross those hysterical bridges when we get there, for now a move across the hall (literally) was enough for me to wax nostalgic. Pumpkin, of course, was oblivious. All she knew was she had a pink backpack that she liked to put on and wave bye-bye.

Her blissful ignorance came to a screeching halt Monday morning when I plopped her down in her new brightly colored, happy new toddler class. Actually, I exaggerate – the screeching did not start right away. In fact, I prematurely reported via Facebook that neither of us cried on the drop off. That was true. What I was unaware of was that she spent the remainder of that entire day in tears. If you know Pumpkin, you know this is not her normal MO. She is the happy baby. I was heart-broken, but chalked it up to first day jitters.

Well, Day 2 and we didn’t even make it all the way in the door before the waterworks started. I heard her screaming all the way to the parking lot. I was trying to be strong lawyer mom and walk briskly to my car but her former teacher Ms. Brittney stopped me in the hall to tell me that she heard Pumpkin screaming all day the day before. Thanks Brittney. My feigned composure crumbled. I cried the entire way to work.

So here we are at Wednesday. I’m hoping against hope this day will be better. But, so far, it’s not. In fact, I think it may be worse. As soon as Pumpkin realized where I was bringing her the happy morning babbling turned into panicked screams. She clutched my shoulder like a spider monkey and had to literally be ripped from my arms. You can imagine what that did to my tough-girl image. Thus far I’ve spent the morning watching her cry on the web cam (see below). It’s excruciating.

Everyone keeps telling me it will just take time for her to adjust, that it’s the first time she hasn’t had Miss Brittney for a teacher, oh, and let us not forget that she has yet another one of her now famous double ear infections (one that is so bad the doctor was taken aback when he looked into her ears) but not to worry, I have been assured the tubes are working perfectly (*insert sarcastic eye roll here*).

Aside from having the worst week of her little life thus far, Pumpkin is still continuing to amaze us with her feats of brilliance. Speaking of her brilliance, it’s so dazzling that it reveals my lacking. For instance, despite my English degree, creative writing background, and legal education, Pumpkin has shown me that I do not “use my words” very well. This realization came to me as Pumpkin learned the word “up.”

We first learned “up” when she helped me pick “up” her toys. She cheerfully carries them to the toy box repeating “up, up, up” as she places them back in their proper place.

Well, then I caught myself teaching her “up” as a word to use when she wants to sit “up” from laying down. So, as she is laying down on the changing table, for instance, she will tell me “up” and I help her get “up.”

Then we applied that to getting “up” on the couch.

Then I was telling her that a bird was “up” in the sky.

Then, when she was demonstrating to me her new favorite skill of shutting her bedroom door (yes, she is already going to her room and shutting the door to “read” by herself – can’t wait to see what the teenage years have in store). As she shuts the door, I open it and she shuts it again. Awesome game. The only thing more hilarious is if you go on the other side of the door and either knock or speak to her under the door – it’s almost too funny for one little girl to handle. Anyway, during yet another round of this game I was explaining to her that the opposite of “shut” is “open,” and she looked at me and said “up.”

Now, granted, “open” and “up” sound a lot alike, but that comment was also revealing of my overuse of the word “up.” Not that any of those uses were incorrect, per se, but I am now painfully aware that I need to use my words if I want her to use hers. On the other hand, I’m not sure I’ll get a good reaction (or any reaction) to asking her to “place her belongings in the container where they are kept” or “to return to seated from supine.”

So, on second thought, I guess “up” in it and we’ll just have to invest in a good thesaurus.


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